3 Ways to Use the Viral “Let Them” Theory in Your Home Design

If you’ve scrolled through TikTok recently or stopped by your local bookstore, you’ve probably seen or heard of the “Let Them” theory. The theory, coined by author and podcast host Mel Robbins, focuses on releasing control of other people and focusing on yourself. The simple mindset shift is taking the world by storm, with Robbins’ explanatory TikTok gathering over 19.7 million views alone.

And while the book’s theory is primarily about self-acceptance and personal discovery, it could also be the key to designing a home you love. “Mel Robbins’ ‘Let Them’ theory is all about freeing ourselves from the expectations that others place on us and instead focusing on what truly matters to ourselves,” says Alecia Taylor, an interior designer for CabinetNow. “In home design, this approach is incredibly liberating. It’s a reminder to stop comparing our spaces to others and embrace designs that align with our own lifestyles, preferences, and dreams.”

Keep reading to learn how to use this viral self-help theory to make your house a home.

What Is the “Let Them” Theory?

Mel Robbins’ book, The Let Them Theory, was released in December 2024 and has already sold over 1.2 million copies worldwide. While the book is full of helpful advice, the key takeaway is simple.

“The message with the ‘Let Them’ theory is that no matter what’s going on outside of you, the power is always inside of you,” Robbins said during an interview on The Today Show. “Two simple words—let them—are the key to helping you to see what’s in your control and what’s not in your control.”

The theory has clearly resonated with people, with many comments on the viral video saying it’s changed the way they view themselves, their relationships, and their perspectives on life. But the mindset shift doesn’t have to stop there. We asked experts if the “Let Them” theory could be applied to home design, and they replied with a resounding “yes.”

1. Decorate for Yourself, Not for Trends

What is considered popular in the home design and decor world is constantly changing. Always chasing the latest trends can lead to design burnout or feeling like your home isn’t ever enough. Taylor says the “Let Them” theory eases the pressure of wanting your space to always be on trend.

“Home design is about creating a sanctuary that reflects you, not the version of yourself that fits the mold of what everyone else has,” she says. “From the colors you love to the layout that fits your lifestyle, your home should feel like an extension of you—unapologetically personal.”

Instead of changing your style to fit every decor trend, curate your own style that you’ll love for years to come. Slowly gather pieces of furniture and decor to ensure you’ll love them as trends come and go. “Let your home tell your story, not someone else’s,” Taylor says.

2. Determine What Works for You

Another way to stop comparing your home to others’ is realizing everyone has different needs and uses for their space. For example, some people may require their home to have space to exercise or a home office, while these spaces might not be necessary for others. As Taylor says, there is no “one-size-fits-all,” answer when it comes to homes.

Plus, your home needs will change over time. Elliott Caldwell, co-founder and CEO of Home Team Luxury Rentals, says to keep a flexible mindset when it comes to your home, understanding that, “homeowners should make incremental progress based on their current interests and needs.” Taylor says as your needs change, it’s important to incorporate decor and design strategies that work for your personal situation.

“The key is designing a space that supports how you live, not how others think you should,” Taylor says.

3. Own or Rent—Make It Your Own

It’s easy to want what you don’t have—whether that be an apartment, house, or an extra feature like a pool or finished basement. Caldwell says the “Let Them” theory suggests avoiding looking side-to-side at what your peers have, so you don’t focus on what you don’t have. “Buying or renting a home should be all about what you feel. Rather than using peers as a comparative, this perspective asks buyers and renters to focus foremost on spaces that work for them,” he says.

Whether you rent a studio apartment or own a house, don’t let comparison keep you from embracing all your space could be. “If you’re renting, there’s no reason why your space can’t feel like home,” Taylor says. “Temporary doesn’t mean incomplete.”

If you’re renting, spend time to make your space feel like home. Add renter-friendly design elements, like peel-and-stick wallpaper, tile, or trim, and add decor and furniture you love. “Don’t get caught up in what others think a ‘home’ should look like—whether you own it or not, it’s your space to design,” Taylor says.